"I miss the way you would trace each of my tattoos with your fingers as if you were playing connect the dots. I miss how your soft touch would put me to sleep on these restless nights."

— Drunk ramblings of an emotional train wreck

The 12 steps

I’m Christian, and I am an addict
It started about two years ago
First time I was around it I never thought I’d try it
Never thought it would have this grip over me
But I was interested
First time was at a party
It kinda just, happened
I woke up dazed and confused
Didn’t know what to think
But I liked it
At first it was sporadic
Maybe once a month
Then once a week
Eventually every day
Soon it was all I could think of
At work I’d count the seconds just to come home to it
At home I’d struggle to ever leave it
Then one day I come home and its gone
With no trace it was ever there
Except for the scars I bare
And the damage done
They say love is a drug
This drug goes by the name Alexis
And I…
I am addicted

"I miss you; not just your physical presence, I miss sharing my life and every moment in it with you."

— Drunk ramblings of an emotional train wreck.

Male confession

If every conversation we have revolves around sex, I have no interest in you other than I see you as an extention of my hand to use your vagina to masterbate.

"All I’m waiting for is a hello."

— Drunk ramblings of an emotional train wreck


when u become overly attached to someone who doesnt give a shit about u



(via thefuuuucomics)

"It’s not that I can’t be happy without you, but I know all the happy moments I’ve had since you left would have been even more so with you."

— Drunk ramblings of an emotional train wreck



Drunk Driver.

Shouldn’t go
But I must

One too many
Is five too few

I overindulge
And underestimate

The bottom of a bottle
Taken from the top shelf

Got the answer
But forgot the question

Take another shot
To forget another miss

I leave
Because you didn’t stay

Flying down the highway
Laying the pedal to the floor

The world spins
The wheels stop

Legs stumble
The floor is stable

Think I’ll stay here tonight.

‎*Mom hands me phone to answer*

  • Me: Hello?
  • Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
  • Me: I have no mother.
  • Her: Well can I speak to your father?
  • Me: Yeah, which one?
  • Her: Which one is home?
  • Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
  • Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
  • Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
  • Her: So who's Antonio?
  • Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
  • Her: So Carlos was cheating?
  • Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
  • Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
  • Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
  • Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
  • Me: I never said that.
  • Her: Yes, yes you did!
  • Me: No I didn't.
  • Her: Y-yes! You did!
  • Me: Did what?
  • Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.



forever reblog

So there, bitches.

Sassy Colbert strikes again

(Source: drunkonstephen, via imjustacatdoincatstuff)

Tags: sass funny lol


8 Technology-Friendly Sex Positions [Click for more]

How’s your Internet hookup?

(via solipsistictendencies)




Want more stock photos, you say…

i promise you that the cashiers hate making those remarks, but if you don’t make them you get in trouble

(via reservoirsnobs)

Just friends, you choose
Best friends, you say
A lie, you know

Without a kiss
Without a touch
Without a glance
Without a romance
Nothing shall we ever be

A friendship will deteriorate
Crumbling into barely acquaintances
Passion is lost and can not be revived
without romance, we are doomed.

And that saddens me


this would have been so much better


this would have been so much better

(via writeinblack)